Merde

I always forget that I need to trust the process on days like today.

 This week I was freaking out most of the week preparing for a studio visit.  Oddly enough, I have become a very private person and have rarely allowed people over to the studio post grad school.  I have become quite protective of my in-progress works, because I tend to get de-railed so easily.   I started this blog as a way to try open myself up again.  The studio visit went well and was very refreshing.  I was treated as if I was the authority of my work and got a lot of positive feedback.  I was also exposed to a very different type of visit than I am accustomed to, one that doesn't turn into a critique.  It was a strange feeling to have someone trust me and the work and just ask questions.

So...Since I hadn't been in "production mode" all week, I tried to overcompensate today.  I believe I may have actually ruined Empty Gesture for good.  I also mutilated several small pieces I had been working on. Lastly, I tried to start new works that ended up forced and wobbly in a bad way.  Some days I just try to keep pushing through the bullshit.  I probably should have just stopped.

One of the most frustrating things about being an artist is the inconsistency of the creative process.   Some days I can make 15 beautiful water color drawings in 3 hours.  Other times, I work for weeks and everything feels like meaningless garbage.  The main issue is that I'm a junkie for working and stubborn.  These two things lead to many frustrating, messy, and uninspired days in the studio.


I also doesn't help that the sun has been out for about 5 hours in two weeks.

So in lieu of showing crap here are some funny sketchbook pages from the archives:

The Joy of Painting episode 1: Happy Little Explosions...

Alla prima, ladies and gentlemen.

I made this painting in 1 hour.  I wanted to force myself to make really fast decisions and paint wet-on-wet.  

Bob Ross is my new guru.

Monsoon Season

Hello, Valentines.  

I've been busy making a handmade gift this week/end for my Valentine and writing a slew of last second letters of recommendation for students.  

Today, after sorting through the hand cut paper hearts strewn about the house, I had time to start preparations for a new large painting. This piece will be 71 X 81 inches. I have made a color chart and some tiny study panels.  I will attempt to create a piece with a muted palette.  I am still working from storms, Modernism, and Chinese landscape.  Right now I am particularly interested in the Monsoon as a metaphor for a quick shift in states coupled with unruly repercussion.

Listen to:

Artist Statement

I'm hoping this clarifies everything about my work:

Post Party

Here is Empty Gesture with a new layer in its party phase.  The other images are details of some "gestures" I think are interesting.  Tomorrow the "confetti feeling" of the painting will be addressed.

In addition to working on this piece I have been playing around with the small wooden panels I gessoed, practicing Spanish, planning a trip to Costa Rica, and wandering in the insane blizzard outside.  Hope everyone is warm and toasty.